Tips and Tricks.

I have decided that once a week i am going to post tips and tricks for hiding weight loss and not eating, and also how to keep going.
1. Take a cold shower 3 times a week.
2. Cook yourself food, then throw it away.
3. exersize a lot!
4. drink 8-10 glasses of water a day.
5. if you have to eat, do it slowly. chew your food till its really chewed up, you digest less!
STAY STRONG
xoxoxox

Getting up every day

Every day, i wake up. Every one does. And i look out the window, and it shocks me that i have survived another day.
I feel so undeserving of the fact though. What did i do to deserve to live, when every 17 seconds, somewhere in the world a child dies? They probably deserve my life more than i do.
I fail at something every day. I ate again today, i ate an apple and a piece of toast, although i think i exersized it off. It doesn't matter how hard i try, i never seem to reach my goal. And every day i have to look in a mirror, and see my hideous reflection, and wish it wasn't me, and then i step on the scales and i just have everything i hate confirmed. I keep telling myself that tommorow i will be better.
I went to go see fame in the cinema today, and in the end, all the dancers were dancing around, in half outfits, and i almost cried, how can it be that they are all so thin, and i dance so much, and i'm not anything like as thin.
So tommorow i will get up, and i will get out and go to a horse riding competition (i'll let you know how i do) and again it will suprise me that i am still alive, while someone else more deserving of it is dead.
Stay strong, we can do it, so that when we wake up, we know we are first of all lighter and skinnier, and closer to perfection. Maybe someday we will be light enough to take flight, stay thin, stay pure.
xoxoxox

I failed.

Well, today it all started off fine, i got up, didn't go to school.
It was like 11, and i was reading a magazine, and i went to get some lemonade. i felt really faint and thirsty, so i figured may as well have my 110 callories allowed for today.
That was all fine, but then like 3 hours later i had a melt down!!!!!!!!!
i ate:
1. 2 peices of toast
2. a pack of chocolate stars
3. a marshmallow-rice crispie thing!
So then i spent half an hour trying to make myself throw it up. OMG I COULDN'T!
i did everything i know. even drank really really salty water. Nothing, apart from my throat burning from salt. So then naturally i excersized for like ever, but my muscles hurt so bad from working out late last night, pretty hard. I feel like such a failure. I completely lost it. So i'm not eating for another 4 days straight, apart from drinking 50 callories worth of lemonade a day, to not faint. Urgh, talk about obese. i feel disgusting :(
stay stronger than me.
xoxoxox

ILL

The amazing thing about pretending to be ill is you can say no to all food, and no one is suspicious!
Today and yesterday i pretended to be sick, to stay off school, and so that i would have to eat absolutely nothing.
I had one issue though. I told my mum that i felt sick, so she bought me lemonade, because flat lemonade is supposed to make you feel better. But i check the bottle:
1. It WASN'T sugar free
2. It has 110 callories per 250 ml! I was really careful to measure out less that that and even then i still felt guilty and excersized it off!
I'm just deciding if i am taking tommorow off or not. maybe, maybe not. If i do, i can just read through vogue (amazing thinspo) but if i do that it means 3 days of copying up to do. so maybe not.
But even better! i lost four pounds over night! every day a little closer to my aim!
stay strong
xoxoxox

First Day

Heyy.
I decided to set this up, because there are hardly any sites that are actually in favour about pro-ana. Got my inspiration from 'Quest for perfection'.
Don't get me wrong. im not saying everyone should go for days without eating and excersize to get off any weight, because im definitely not. But if some of us want to do this, its our lifestyle choice, don't try to curb our lives. We need to live them our way :D
stay strong
xx